I wrote this poem a number of years ago just for fun. Every time I read it, I chuckle. Here it is for you to read; perhaps you’ll get a chuckle out of it too.
by Sandra Bell Kirchman
- The dragon is listening to his mother carefully.
“Don’t burp,” my mother said to me
I thought it best to heed
When I was just a little lad
And barely on my feed.
“Don’t belch, my son, close mouth,” said she
I sealed my lips with tape
I held my breath and crunched my teeth
So not a puff escaped
“Refrain from breathing heavily
“These mortals are so frail
“And cinderizing breathing might
“Just land you, son, in jail”
And so through teens and twenties
I just kept my mouth in line
I never burped, I never belched
And got along just fine
Then one day I ate those beans
Renowned to make you blow
And though I squelched quite mightily
The fire, it blazed below
I cried and shivered o’er the world
As flying high I strove
To keep from singeing mortals
Yea, I swooped and ducked and dove
Alas, I could not keep it up
As gases swelled within
I opened up and let ‘er rip
The flame streaked past my chin
I gasped and tried to suck it back
But all I got was smoke
The beans had charcoal-broiled the mayor
Don’t laugh; it’s not a joke
And so the moral of this tale
Beware the bean, my friend
My mother’s counsel failed to count
The bean’s vast blowing trend
Absolutely, positively no beans allowed.
I know that others will be doomed
If beans they munch upon
If only Maw had thought to say…
“Eschew the bean, my son!”
Fantasyfic 